Credits

Track Listing

1. Cream Of The Crust
2. Beauty Spot
3. Boudoir
4. Rabble Rouser
5. Tell Mother I'm Home
6. Versailles
7. Vulgar Tongue
8. Persona Non Grata
9. Ne'er-Do-Well
10. Gold-Plated Radio
11. Highfalutin'

Lyrics

Cream Of The Crust, sung by Lord Bendover

Now some cows they give butter, 
   and some give cottage cheese
and some got great big udders 
   full of unadulterated sleaze
but me I don't want no half-and-half, 
   I want it unhomogenized
gonna take the cream off the top now baby,
   hit me in the face with your cream pie

chorus:
Givin' up the cream of the crust
Just can't get enough
Got to be the cream of the crust

Now the butcher goes to work in the morning, 
   and the baker bakes all night
but the milkman comes all around the clock 
   to stimulate your appetite
and if his milk don't do the trick, 
   got a little somethin' that's sweet and thick
gonna take the cream off the top drink every drop
 sweet cream now baby, take a sip

chorus

I'm gonna take you on back on the farm 
   gonna take you down in the dairy barn
I'm gonna walk you right through the stall 
   gonna take your cow right by the balls
I'm gonna squeeze with all my might
baby you can help me when you squeeze so tight
   and when the cream comes out 
   we gonna jump and shout 
we're gonna drink sweet cream tonight

chorus

Beauty Spot, sung by Lord Rockingham

O beauty spot
What a lot I've got
I feel beautiful tonight

I put my beauty spot upon my face
Before the mirror in my room
Yet I was feeling something out of place
I need another drop of French perfume

O powdered wig
I don't give a fig
I don't give a frig
I feel beautiful tonight

I put on my clothes and my powdered wig
I'd kinda like to dance but I don't give a fig
Eau 
Beauty spot

O fur-lined glove
I'm in love with love
I feel beautiful tonight

Boudoir, sung by Lord Bendover

O, O, I need you so
such beauty love -- I am your slave
come with me now a place I know
your every wish I will obey
so won't you come I pray, to my
Boudoir, it's not very far
boudoir, a stroll beneath the stars
boudoir, my goodness, here we are
come into my boudoir

Of all the ladies I might have loved tonight
none were so graceful or so fair
and none so radiant by candlelight
that shines so softly through your hair
such beauty rare belongs in my...
Boudoir, it's not very far
boudoir, a stroll beneath the stars
boudoir, my goodness, here we are
come into my boudoir, come into my boudoir 

On the left is my divan, on the right my etchings
all around on either hand are nudes 
don't you find them fetching
come into my boudoir, my boudoir

Boudoir, it's not very far
boudoir, a stroll beneath the stars
boudoir, my goodness, here we are
come into my boudoir
(REPEAT AD INFINITUM)

Rabble Rouser, sung by Lord Bendover

Rabble rouser, you raised a mob in my heart
you make my trousers split and fall apart
rabble rouser you don't know your place
you ain't nothin' but a pretty face
things you do ain't in the best of taste
you want it all and you just won't wait alright

Rabble rouser you messin' with the status quo
once you got the whole ball rollin' 
well who knows where it goes
rabble rouser with your call to arms 
from the gutter and down on the farm
too late to sound the alarm 
damage is done but wherešs the harm alright

Rabble rouser...

I hear you talkin' 'bout a revolution, revolution, rabble rouser

Rabble rouser, you know not what you do
throwin' out the good with the bad
well it's all the same to you
rabble rouser with your heart of stone
why can't you do like you been shown
better watch which way the wind is blowin'
but I'll be there when you're all alone alright

Rabble rouser...

Hear you talkin' 'bout a revolution, rabble rouser...

Tell Mother I'm Home, sung by Lord Bendover

Spend my days at the polo ground 
tryin' to make a good impression on you
now I see another beaux you've found 
I'm goin' home to take my tea in my room
Tell mother I'm home, tell mother I'm home

Always been a sickly child 
had to take the fresh sea air
now I hear that you been runnin' wild
more than my fragile constitution can bear
Tell mother I'm home, tell mother I'm home
Tell mother I'm home, tell mother I'm home

Mother come and hold my hand, mother come and hold it

Poppa tried to fix me with a governess
he tried to send me off to public school
I guess he ainšt never heard that 
   mother always knows best
donšt want them messin' with the family jewels
Tell mother I'm home, tell mother I'm home
Tell mother I'm home, tell mother I'm home

Versailles, sung by Lord Rockingham

Come on to Versailles
Come on get high
Come on to Versailles
Come on and fly 

Come on down with me
To the Orangerie
We'll make history
Come on down my dear
To the Hall of Mirrors
We'll drink fancy beer

Come on to Versailles
Come on and try
Come on to Versailles
Come on ... canaille

Come on down let's go
Down to my chateau
Blows away Fontainebleau
Come on down my sweet
To my royal suite
No, it's not petite

Versailles
Come on

Vulgar Tongue, sung by Lord Bendover & the Duc d'Istortion

She speaks the vulgar tongue
   speaks it better than anyone
When I wanna talk back to her 
   I got to use the vernacular
'cause she's the only one, 
   she's the only one, she's the only one
that really speaks the vulgar tongue

when the other girls speak to me
   girl you know it's all Greek to me
she gives me information
   predicated on the situation
she's the only one...
   that really speaks the vulgar tongue

she speaks the vulgar tongue
   in a voice like an iron lung
I can hear her calling out to me
   the vulgar tongue is what it's all about
'cause she's the only one...
that really speaks the vulgar tongue

she speaks the vulgar tongue...

Persona Non Grata, sung by Lord Bendover

What am I -- I am but a man
I've only got two buckle-shoes 
   and two soft little hands
perhaps I loved you all too well 
   and pressed my suit too hot-aahh
for now it seems that I've become 
  persona non grata...

How have I given you offense
I always used a fingerbowl 
   and doused myself with scent
and I had you sent a greeting card 
   upon a silver platter
but you sent it back with this stern rebuke
persona non grata...

persona non grata...

Why must I sulk around your door
why can't I just turn my back 
   upon your strange allure
you know I'd tell you anything 
   and give you all I've got-aahh
if you would just tell me I'm not 
persona non grata...

persona non grata...

Ne'er-Do-Well, sung by Lord Bendover & Lord Rockingham

I'm a ne'er-do-well, it don't mean nothin' to me
they say I'm a fop but I just can't stop 
so come on over for some cakes and tea
I'm gonna end my days in a padded cell 'cause I'm a
I'm a ne'er do well
I'm a ne'er do well

I'm a dandy, I don't eat nothin' but candy
well I ruin young ladies everywhere I go
and all their mommas shake their heads and say I told you so
'cause I play a little game called kiss and tell 'cause I'm a
I'm a ne'er do well
I'm a ne'er do well
I'm a ne'er do well, come on

I'm a wastrel, a low-down dirty rascal
I'm a frivolous bibulous libertine 
you know I never cared to try and live within my means
come on take an elevator up my tour d'eiffel 'cause I'm a 
I'm a ne'er-do-well
I'm a ne'er-do-well
I'm a ne'er-do-well
I'm a ne'er-do-well, come on

Gold-Plated Radio, sung by Lord Rockingham

I got a lot of art
I got a go-kart 
I got a ruby ring
It don't mean a thing
I only like things that sing

Oo
Little transistor
Turn me on

I got a diamond dial
I got audiophile
500 little holes
Out comes roque and roll
It hits me in my mole

Oo
Little transistor
Turn me on

Gold-plated radio
A bit of guitar

Oo
Little transistor
Turn me on

Gold-plated radio
A bit more guitar

Gold-plated radio

Highfalutin, sung by the Duc d'Istortion

I'm lording it over you, I'm lording it over you
I got divine right to rock'n'roll all night,
   I said baby I was born to rule

Well I'm highfalutin, I got footmen in livery
I'm like Sir Isaac Newton
   sleepin' underneath an appletree
stiff upper lip, nose in the air, chin up old man,
   really couldn't care

'cause I'm highfalutin, I insist on the very best
simply blue cheese and croutons,
   I wouldn't settle for nothin' less
you say potato, I say potahto, take it to the bridge 
   and give it everything you got
alright

I never wanted you to love me, 
   I never wanted you to care

'cause I'm highfalutin, you can tell by the way I talk
and there's no disputin',
   I got that highfalutin walk
serve from the left, remove from the right, pour me 'nother glass you
   know I'm feelin' alright alright